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Written by Emily Cross.
19 minute read
The death of your husband is something that may change so many of the things in life you have come to rely on. To many of us, our spouse is our support network, our constant companion, and our soulmate. When they are no longer by our side, it’s perfectly natural if you feel unable to cope or don’t know what to do.
As providers of direct cremation services, we have the privilege of serving grieving widows and families every day. Our goal is to always provide the kind, compassionate service that allows those who are grieving the time and space they need to move forward. Because we understand the highly personal nature of grief, we want you to know that we are here for you, regardless of what you may need.
In this guide, we’ve put together some ideas and suggestions on funeral poems for your late husband. There may be times when you feel unable to put your thoughts and feelings into words, and these are times when many turn to the world of poetry. The depth, meaning, and artistic expression of certain poems are something that has provided a great source of comfort to many for generations. We hope that you may be able to find your own source of comfort in the following words.
Key takeaways:
Some of the most beautiful funeral poems for a husband from his wife are those written over a century ago, at a time when society was both very different and very much the same. Technology, social conventions, and attitudes may have changed beyond all recognition in many ways, but the universal characteristics of what it means to be human are unchanged. Add in the familiarity that an older poem provides, and the sense of comfort that this may create, and you get a sense of the true role of poems in honouring late husbands.
Poetry is a uniquely powerful form of writing and expression that can provide comfort, love, and expression during periods of intense grief. Many have found that poetry is the only medium that adequately conveys the deep emotional connection between spouses. Reading funeral poems during the service is a popular choice of tribute because the right choice can celebrate and emphasise the lifelong partnership and shared memories that exist.
The world of British funeral traditions is one that can provide a great deal of comfort through familiarity and predictability. You may feel that knowing what is coming and what is expected of you is reassuring because it allows you to plan ahead and think about how things may turn out. That said, you may also feel that something a little more contemporary could be more befitting of your husband’s legacy. One thing you can hold onto and remember is that you have complete freedom to choose how you want to move forward.
Some of the most moving bereavement poems for husbands focus on what you shared while you were still together. At such a difficult time, you may find comfort in exploring themes like these:
Personal, heartfelt expressions of your connection may feel like a conversation with your late husband, helping you feel close to him still. Poems that speak to this sense of closeness can offer something steady to hold onto when you feel unmoored.
Choosing memorial poems for husbands who have recently died is something that may feel overwhelming, and many widows feel this way. Likewise, if you are looking for poems as part of some forthcoming end-of-life celebrations, the emotional nature of the choices you have to make may also feel too much right now. You may find it helpful to take a step back and consider the tone that you want your choice of poem to have:
Taking a moment to sit and reflect on each verse you read is what may allow you to find something you connect with. In this case, the value of sincere, respectful, and timeless language is something that is hard to overstate.
There are many funeral poems to choose from, including a few traditional pieces you might already know well. The right poem depends on what feels most comforting to you, whether that’s the familiarity of something well-known or the deeper emotional resonance of a less familiar piece.
If you and your husband had a child or children together, you may be looking for funeral poems for Dad. In this case, you might find comfort in words that reflect his strength, kindness, or the bond you shared. Taking your time, and allowing yourself space to sit with your emotions, can help you choose something that truly speaks to your heart.
Taking a moment to consider some of the following well-known poems that are often chosen for husbands’ funerals may help. As ever, we are never trying to direct you towards a particular choice, we simply want you to feel comfortable with the options at your disposal:
Deciding which direction you want to take may feel overwhelming, especially when you want to make sure that everything is as your husband would wish. With this in mind, you may find it helps to focus on universal messages of love and loss at this difficult time.
If you find that you connect with a lengthy poem, but that reading all of it at the service feels overwhelming, selecting a couple of verses that resonate with you may be best. By balancing what you feel connected to with what you feel comfortable hearing on the day, you can strike a balance that allows you to grieve while continuing to move forward.
Taking a pause at this point and considering some of these funeral tribute examples may help you to think about your choice of words. It’s about being kind to yourself and giving yourself the time and space you need to think through your feelings, and it’s also one of the first steps of your healing journey.
If you find that something a little more modern and contemporary feels right, there are some interesting and enlightening poems that you may wish to take a closer look at:
These less formal but very personal pieces could help you to express yourself in a way that you feel more comfortable with. They may also provide a source of comfort in the weeks and months ahead, where you may find more of a connection to contemporary writing.
If you are searching for poems for scattering ashes and have not found something that resonates with how you feel and who your husband was, there is always the option to put pen to paper. Rather than seeing this as a last resort, many widows feel that finding their own choice of words helps them to process how they are thinking and feeling. Writing forces you to reflect on your emotions in detail and to then find the specific wording to bring it to life.
Many people find that focusing on themes like shared experiences, love, and lasting connection helps them begin the writing process. Using free verse, where you don’t need to follow strict poetic rules, can also give you the freedom to express yourself in a way that feels natural, without the pressure of structure or rhyme.
It’s important to remember that you’re not aiming for literary perfection. Be kind and patient with yourself. Sometimes the words will come easily. Other times, even writing a single line can feel difficult. This is completely normal, and even experienced poets go through it.
Try not to force it. Instead, focus on being sincere and emotionally honest…that’s where the real strength of your writing will come from. You may find that you’re making progress before you even realise it.
Brief verses may feel more impactful and powerful than an extended piece of poetry because the words have a way of staying in your mind much longer. You may also feel that they are more suitable for short readings, cards, or memorial service programs. A couple of timeless poems that are often used for the power of certain famous lines are:
Simple, touching lines often bring with them the power of brevity when conveying deep emotion. If you feel connected with this style of writing and want to explore how it can be used in other ways, you may find it helpful to take a look at our guide on how to reply to condolences. There are some suggestions in there that may help you convey a real sense of meaning and emotion in just a couple of short lines.
Reading poems aloud at the funeral service is something that many of us may find daunting, for understandable reasons. The emotion and potential nerves of the day, the nature of the words, and the pressure we put on ourselves to achieve a perfect delivery may all contribute to feelings of anxiety. If you find that the prospect of delivering a reading is causing you stress, you may find it helps to:
Being kind and compassionate with yourself can make a real difference, though it’s often hard to remember during times like these. One helpful approach is to treat yourself as you would someone you were caring for. Creating that small bit of distance can help you find a gentler, more understanding way to speak to yourself.
Poems have the ability to offer comfort and support during difficult times, and they can also provide a sense of hope to grieving spouses. If you want to explore a couple of options, you may find that you resonate with:
Using these two as a starting point may help you find other writers and verses that can help you to heal. The emotional support and clarity that many people find in poetry is something that you may find is of great benefit to you.
There are a variety of traditional ways you can include poems in the funeral service, such as in printed orders of service, as part of the eulogy, or even in printed form as memorial keepsakes. You may also find that you wish to add a poem to any remembrance cards or online tributes you choose to make in the build-up to the day. One of the beautiful things about doing this is that you can revisit them for many years to come, all while grounding yourself in the same sense of emotional support.
The ongoing nature of grief is something that can be easy to forget when you’re first processing the death of your husband. As time moves forward, you may feel pressure to keep making progress in how you’re coping.
But grief doesn’t follow a straight path. Anniversaries, birthdays and other meaningful dates, especially the first death anniversary, can bring a fresh wave of sadness and longing. At these times, revisiting poetry that holds deep meaning for you may offer the comfort and sense of connection you need.
If you are someone who relates to the concept of growing around grief, you may find that writing or reading poetry can help you to process your grief. The act of sitting and reflecting on a specific choice of words and what they mean is a mindful act, and one that people have been using for generations
You may also find that journalling provides a similar sense of support and space at times when you want to be alone with your thoughts. Giving yourself a chance to gradually work through how you are feeling and how specific aspects of your life may have changed is a healthy way to heal. If you feel comfortable doing it, you may find that it becomes a lasting habit.
There are many beautiful poems from belief systems all over the world. Psalm 23 is a common choice and focuses on God’s guidance and protection. There is also “Let not your hearts be troubled” from John 14:1-3 that talks about how you can continue moving forward, supported by both memories and faith.
Because there are so many options and such a wide array of different belief systems, we wouldn’t wish to try and provide an exhaustive list. Instead, we think it may help to provide a gentle reminder that if you are a person of faith, your beliefs may offer a sense of comfort and support to you at this time. Exploring where this path takes you may help you to heal in a way you feel most aligned with.
Online resources such as FuneralHelp and IrisOrderOfServices have growing libraries of poems, many of which talk about what it means to lose a husband. You may find that exploring them provides a natural opening into the world of poetry. Alternatively, speaking with your local librarian may help provide a more personal experience and a safe space. By being able to take your time and work through different writers from the genre, you may find that you can arrive at a choice you feel very comfortable with.
We sincerely hope that you have found some words of comfort and support in our guide, and potentially even a poem or verse you wish to sit with a little longer. As always, we are never trying to urge you to take a particular direction or approach. All we want to do is help you grieve and process your emotions in a way that feels right to you. It’s our way of trying to provide help and support that goes far beyond the practical matters you would expect from us.
If your late husband created one of our *pre-paid funeral plans, you may find that he already expressed some wishes about how he wishes to be remembered. In which case, connecting with our kind and compassionate team may help you gain a little more clarity about what comes next. And if you are reading this and finding that you want to shape your own legacy, we can also help with our guide, where we compare funeral plans and break down some options.
No matter what stage of your healing journey you find yourself at, we are always right here to guide you and support you in any way we can. We feel it’s the least we can do.
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There is no right or wrong choice of poem to read as part of your husband’s eulogy, only what you feel is appropriate. If your husband were a lover of a particular writer or genre, for example, this may help you narrow down your potential options. Likewise, if there is a piece you find that resonates with you the moment you read it, this could also be the right option.
Poems that provide comfort, warmth, and reassurance are often chosen to be read at such a time. The advantage of finding a poem that provides all these is that it may be something you feel able to read back at key points on your healing journey. You may also find that a shorter verse or extract from a longer poem is more manageable when reading aloud during the service, particularly if you are nervous or emotional at the time.
Poems that focus on memories and how they provide bridges to the people we know and love are some of the best choices for memorials, in our opinion. While the choice is always a highly personal one, you may find that exploring this path helps. If a poem makes you think about some of your fondest memories and creates a feeling of warmth and familiarity as a result, you may have found the right memorial poem for you. Taking your time and giving yourself options to consider is what it’s all about here.
While there are plenty of online search options and databases, the personal touch is something that many of us overlook. A trip to your local library — if you feel able to, emotionally — is something that many people derive a great deal of comfort from. Speaking to someone with a passion for what they do, who knows the fundamentals of the genre, can provide a much more personal experience than searching online. The library also offers a safe yet communal space where you can meet with us, be alone with your thoughts, or do a little bit of both, depending on how you are feeling on the day.
Sitting with your thoughts and adopting a free-verse approach that doesn’t constrain you with any technical rules and conventions may help. Starting by writing down the words as they come to you, rather than trying to search for perfection, will give you the time and space you need. Once you have some phrases and ideas to work with, you can then start to hone them and shape them in a way that you feel is right. This is a mindful process that helps you to heal, even if you never achieve perfection, and remembering this may help you be kind to yourself.