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Written by Mitch Tapner.
17 minute read
Article reviewed by Emily Cross, Self-Employed Death Doula on November 26, 2025.
Gifts for grieving friends that show you care. Explore comforting, meaningful ideas to support a loved one through loss and healing.
When someone you care about loses a close friend, it can be hard to know what to do. Whether they’ve lost a companion they shared a long history with, someone from your wider friendship group, or a person you never met, you’ll likely want to reach out and offer comfort.
Losing a friend can be just as painful as losing a family member, and finding the right way to support someone through it isn’t always easy.
As providers of direct cremation services, we’ve seen many small but meaningful ways people show they care. We understand how personal grief is, and how difficult it can be to choose a thoughtful gesture or gift. That’s why we’ve gathered some gentle ideas to help you support a friend who’s grieving. We hope they give you something to hold onto during this tender time.
While there may be plenty of gift ideas for a grieving friend to be found online, it’s getting the balance right between extravagance, utility, and appropriateness that really matters. Of course, you want the gift to convey a deep sense of empathy and offer comfort when you are not there, but you also want to make sure that it doesn’t overwhelm your friend.
In our role as a family-run funeral provider, we understand how a gift can express support and remembrance, and how important it is to be able to do both at the same time. The right kind of gift can offer comfort and emotional support, while gently letting your friend know you are there for them whenever they need you. It is a way to show you care, without overwhelming them or seeming distant, and without brushing aside the depth of their grief.
One of the most traditional options is funeral flowers, but nowadays, there are many alternatives to funeral flowers if you prefer something more sustainable and longer-lasting. By offering a gift with a greater sense of permanence, you allow your friend to bond with it and build a connection with it without having to face the prospect of soon moving on. Personalised gifts often prove to be highly effective ways to show a friend you care about that they are always on your mind.
By focusing on more personal elements and moving away from the constraints of tradition, no matter how comforting you may find them, you give yourself more freedom to express yourself. This is something your friend will likely greatly appreciate, especially given how they may be feeling right now. Here are some suggestions that you may wish to consider:
The act of personalisation honours the memory of a loved one and shows the friend you are giving the gift to that you have put some real time and thought into your gesture. It’s about showing them that you care while also giving them something they are much more likely to build a lasting connection with.
To many who are figuring out how to deal with grief, it’s the thought that has gone into a gift that is the most important thing.This will go a long way towards validating how they feel and helping them to feel heard at a difficult time in their life.
Whether you are buying a gift for a key date, such as the first death anniversary, or in the immediate aftermath, there are plenty of options to consider. Here are a few more that this time focus more on comfort and soothing emotions:
The beauty of these kinds of gifts is that they offer both physical and emotional comfort without placing any demands on the person receiving them. They can be tucked away with ease or left out to gently blend into the room, which can be especially helpful when someone is feeling overwhelmed.
Choosing soothing colours, natural textures or calming scents that suit your friend’s taste can add to the sense of peace. Taking a little extra care with these details can turn a thoughtful gift into something truly meaningful…something your friend can feel an instant connection with.
There are so many different ways to approach the topic of memorial gifts that you may feel a little unsure about which direction to take. With this in mind, we think it may help to continue with broad overviews of other categories. That way, you can home in on what you feel is the best choice for your friend at this time. Next on our list, we have baskets and hampers:
While you’ll naturally want to lift your friend’s spirits, it’s important to make sure any gift basket feels respectful and not overly cheerful. The last thing you want is to come across as dismissive of their grief by being too upbeat. It’s perfectly fine to include a few small things that might bring a smile, but take a moment before sending the basket to consider how it might be received. A little care in the tone of the gift can mean a great deal.
If you find that you are struggling when it comes to figuring out what to say when someone is grieving, the symbolism or a gift may help you express yourself. Because you know your friend better than we do, we will leave the nuances of different worldviews and belief systems to you. If you find it helpful, here are some general ideas that you may wish to consider when you feel ready:
Taking a moment to reflect on your friend’s values, beliefs, and outlook can help you choose something that feels right for them. If you are unsure, it might help to talk it through with a mutual friend. You could even consider giving a joint gift to show your support together.
Sometimes, it’s the little things that make all the difference, and that’s something that is particularly apt when it comes to some of the inspirational books about grief that are available.
A carefully chosen book can be a comforting gift. It can offer your friend something to turn to for support in the weeks and months ahead.
We all move through the five stages of grief at our own speed and in our own way, and there will be many of us who have simply never thought about grief as a multi-stage journey. It can be hard to know what your friend is thinking or feeling, especially if they tend to keep things to themselves. With that in mind, you might find it helpful to explore one or more of the following titles:
Each title has its own voice, viewpoint, and specific area of focus, and it’s not for us to try and guide you in any particular direction. If you feel able to, take a look at the description of each book on this short list and it may help you to find something that makes all the difference to your friend.
Written messages can take any form you wish, but you may find that shorter choices don’t run the risk of weighing your friend down with your own feelings. If you’re unsure about how to write such a short condolence message, you may find that one of the following examples captures everything you want to say.
Clichés are something that you may wish to avoid in favour of more heartfelt choices of words, such as some of these loss of a friend quotes. A more personal approach to language will show your friend that you have put some real thought into how you are reaching out to them, and it is a great way to show that you care. You could also combine your card with a small token of comfort that gives them something they can anchor themselves to emotionally.
Knowing what to say when someone loses a parent is, perhaps, one of the hardest things of all, but it’s something that many of us will have to work through at some point in our lives. The key is to focus on two different elements of timing: immediately after the death and on anniversaries and first birthdays after the death of a loved one. This will help you show your friend that you are there for them and that they remain in your thoughts.
The nature of the delivery is also something that you may wish to give a little extra thought to. In the days and weeks immediately after the death, your friend may or may not appreciate people calling unannounced at their door.
You know them best, so using your judgement here would be our suggestion. If you feel that they would prefer to have a little space and privacy, there is always the option to arrange delivery online or to arrange a time in advance to call in on them.
When it comes to delivering a gift on an anniversary months or years in the future, doing so in person may be something your friend is deeply moved by. Knowing that you have gone out of your way to not only have them in your thoughts, but to come and see them is a great way of showing that you care. Anniversaries can be lonely affairs in some cases, especially if your grieving friend feels like the rest of the world has moved on without them.
It is hard to overstate the importance of ongoing empathy and communication when your friend is grieving the death of someone they love. Considering an example may help to illustrate how you can continue to help. If you are both remembering a friend who has died, but they are doing so in a way that makes you notice that they are withdrawing socially, this is when you could make a real difference to how they feel.
You can be the person they turn to when they feel like they need to talk and have someone validate how they are feeling:
Sharing memories with one another allows you to enjoy your bond and gives each other something to smile about. It’s about making the most of your time together by focusing on real quality and enjoyment so that you are present and living in the moment. If you feel able to do so, this could really help your friend open up by showing them that you are always there for them when they need you.
We are also here to help guide you and support you however we can, and it’s something we take seriously. While we may be known for our prepaid funeral plans that allow you to put your affairs in order ahead of time, we also know the importance of the emotional side of things.
That’s why we’ve made sure to continue adding to our library of online resources so that when you need help and support with a sensitive issue, everything is ready and waiting at your fingertips. Just what you need to hear when you want to be able to reach out and help your friend in the best possible way.
If there is ever anything we can do to help you to help your friend, or if you need someone to talk to, we are always here. We feel it’s the least we can do in an age where it’s all too easy to get caught up in the moment and forget the things that truly matter in life.
Yes, if you would feel comfortable receiving one from your friend, then it is safe to say that you have the type of relationship where this kind of gesture would be appreciated. You may want to add your own personal touches to it to show your friend that you have thought of them and to make sure they will connect with what they receive. The key is to step back and ask yourself about how proportionate the gifts in the basket are. The last thing you want to do is overwhelm your friend with something that they may feel is too expensive to accept at this time.
It’s the small things that often make the difference because it’s clear that a lot of thought has been put into them. A book, a candle, a snack that you know they like could be all it takes to show them that they are always in your thoughts. It’s not so much about making grand gestures as it is about being thoughtful and authentic. Some also find that offers of practical support are the best gifts, especially around things such as childcare, cooking, or helping with a couple of regular errands.
A book is one of the most popular choices because it can provide a sense of connection and companionship that may not be possible with other gifts. If you know they connect with a particular writer or style, finding something that they like could really help them heal. Reading is also one of the best mindful acts there is, and one that can provide everything from comfort and entertainment to enlightenment and direction. Exactly what’s needed when you want your friend to feel supported during those moments when you can’t be there in person.
Absolutely, a personalised grief gift is a beautiful way to show your friend that you care about them and understand what they are going through. The extra bit of thought and effort may not even take that long, but it’s what will really stand out when you present the gift and your friend lays eyes on it for the first time. An engraved photoframe, for example, is no harder to purchase than a standard frame, and yet it has a timeless personal touch that is sure to resonate.
Blankets and candles are popular choices for a grieving friend because they provide a moving presence during the evening when they are more likely to be alone. The warmth of the blanket and the natural flicker of the flame can combine to create a cosy atmosphere that makes your friend feel more at home and more relaxed in their own company. This is really important if you want to help lay the foundations that will allow them to heal in the months ahead.
Yes, figurines, jewellery, and certain books are all suitable gifts for a grieving friend whose religion is a central part of their life. Due to the complexity and nuance of religious beliefs and spiritual worldviews, it wouldn’t be right for us to attempt to offer an exhaustive list. Instead, you may find that the best approach is to speak to a friend or relative from the same background and ask their advice. That way, you won’t unwittingly cause offence or upset at a difficult time.
Something simple, authentic, and heartfelt that lets your friend know that they are in your thoughts and that you are there for them is all that is required. At times like these, it is tempting to try and find the perfect choice of words that will suddenly make everything okay, as if nothing has happened. You care about your friend and want them to be back to normal, but this will take time. Putting too much pressure on yourself to write something transformative will only cause your stress and potentially delay when you send your grief gift.